Motherhood

Motherhood has been the one thing I’ve done that has most pushed me beyond my limits:  Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Being pregnant with my first was an exciting time. Everything was so new. My husband and I tracked each milestone, and the thought of soon having a baby in our arms brought us so much happiness. I was not, however, prepared for how difficult the physical aspects of pregnancy would be for me. I expected the labor part to be painful, but the before and after were just as bad, if not worse.

With three pregnancies in the last four years, my body has undergone so many changes that I no longer recognize it. It’s frustrating that one of the most wonderful things in life has left my body so worn out. I have been amazed, though, by how much my body has been able to handle these last few years. Motherhood pushed beyond my limits with pain and with change. Motherhood also pushed beyond my limits with how different each pregnancy and labor experience was and with how my body was able to heal after enduring so much stress.

Mentally, I would not say I’ve fared much better. Having two toddlers and an infant at the same time can really test your sanity. The kids earn my trust by sitting quietly to watch a movie or by not making a mess at mealtime but just as quickly make me question my decision-making skills when I leave them alone for less than a minute and return to find they’ve dumped out an entire box of Rice Crispies on the kitchen floor (and, of course, this had to be right after I had finished cleaning).

The random tantrums can also be quite trying. My daughter cries because I gave her the purple fork instead of the pink one or because her brother looked at her the wrong way. My son cries because I dared to put pants on him or because the commercials interrupted his cartoon. The baby is not one to be left behind, so she, of course, joins in on the chorus of crying. With three little ones, there always seems to be someone crying in the house. Motherhood pushes me past normal levels of frustration and past where I thought I could handle life, but I am once again amazed at how, even through all of the chaos, at the end of the day, I manage to keep it all together.         

Motherhood is painful and scary, at times. Motherhood is also absolutely beautiful. While I have had to grow in strength and patience by being pushed past my physical and mental limits, I have also grown in love by being pushed beyond my emotional limits. Being with my children teaches me so much about the good in life. My kids amaze me each day with how much they grow and learn. I love looking down at their little faces and seeing both mine and my husband’s features in a perfect combination (that somehow manages to be so different on each child). Some of my favorite things in life are how my kids give me random hugs, how they walk around the house pretending to be dinosaurs, and how they get so excited over the simple things in life (like cake). They have such big imaginations and an even bigger capacity for love.

Motherhood has pushed me so much beyond my ability to love that not only is there love enough to go around for everyone in my family, there is even more love to go around for my husband than before. We are a team, and watching him be a father is another one of my favorite things. I love how my husband loves our children, and I love him more in turn.

Motherhood has taught me that I am strong enough to handle pain and craziness. Motherhood has also shown me how to be gentle and how to love through the chaos and the calm. Motherhood proves that there is no limit to love.     

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed.” -Linda Wooten